well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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