Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
