My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
