Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
