thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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