when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Randomize
