dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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