Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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