One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
