He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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