I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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