I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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