mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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