If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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