woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
