too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
