just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
