$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
