I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize