i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
It's never too late to be topless.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
