I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
it's like iHOP with fire
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
