It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize