Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize