dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
