I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
