i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
