How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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