I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
