when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
