Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
