office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
