you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
