I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
There r osticjed everywhere
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
