wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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