How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
