either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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