she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
