Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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