Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
