How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
