Old men and throwing up are my life now.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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