is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
