we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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