OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
