Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Everclear isn't food dammit
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
