very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
