I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
