just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
