Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
nutella sex= disaster
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
