too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
We are two peas in an std pod
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
