whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
