false alarm. still invincible.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
