Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Randomize
