my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
