did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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