We're facebook friends in real life
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
