nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
