Will you blow on my dice?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
