Sponge bath it is.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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