This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
