i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
