so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize