The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Come on in and take your pants off
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