did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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