I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
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