obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
