Porn is love you can see.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
