Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
she pinky promised me she was 18
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
