remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Let's get the cat blown out
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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