Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
