I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
