Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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