I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
