We're like a lot better than the average bears
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
