It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
