i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
