Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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