soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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