Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
